Don't Want You Back
by Lockhart
Summary: After a four year departure Dr Susan Lewis returns to County as an attending. How will her arrival affect the relationship between Mark and Elizabeth and what major secret does Susan hold from her time spent in Phoenix.
1. Default Chapter

Don't Want You Back  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
  
Author: Lockart  
  
E-mail: Katie@ballantyne24.freeserve.co.uk  
  
Category: Susan Lewis/ Mark Greene/ Elizabeth Corday  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Spoilers: Contains minor spoilers for Season 7  
  
Archive: Archive my fanfic on your site if you wish but please let me know first  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters but I sure wish I did  
  
Authors Notes: See end of fic  
  
Summary: After a four year departure Dr Susan Lewis returns to County as an attending. How will her arrival affect the relationship between Mark and Elizabeth and what major secret does Susan hold from her time spent in Phoenix.  
  
She stepped out of her car and removed her sunglasses. Cook County Hospital still stood and looked exactly like it had four years ago when she had left for pastures new. Having spent half of her life in Chicago she had found it extremely hard to adapt to living in Phoenix and working in a smaller hospital with srange, new faces. Chloe had made it quite clear that she resented having her sister around, especially disliking the amount of time Susan wished to spend with her little neice. It's all in the past now, she thought locking the car door and heading towards the entrance of the hospital. I wonder if John, Carol and Doug are still there. I even missed Kerry's persistant screams and shouts. What will Mark say when he sees me? I've missed him so much, but after my abrupt departure, will he even want to talk to me? Susan was so caught up in her worries and fears she did not even see the large car heading towards her.  
  
"Watch where you are going!" shouted Robert Romano hiting the steering wheel with his clenched fist.  
  
"Oh sorry, I was in a world of my own" Susan apologised moving out of the car's way.  
  
"You should be sorry" Robert muttered under his breath, parking beside Susan's car. "In future watch where you are going"  
  
I don't need a lecture on road safety, she thought glaring angrily at the man.  
  
"I haven't seen you around County before" Robert said throwing his car keys in his briefcase.  
  
"No I've just started working here, well I left a few years ago but now I'm back" Susan answered.  
  
Oh gawd, I didn't ask for your life story, Robert thought trying to show some interest into the woman's words.  
  
"Susan Lewis, a new attending in the ER" she smiled.  
  
"Dr Robert Romano, chief of staff" he replied shaking her hand.  
  
"Chief of staff?" Susan loked surprised.  
  
"Yes, head of the hospital"  
  
"I know what chief of staff means" she growled. "I thought Dr Anspaugh was in charge"  
  
"Well yes he was until over a year ago". With those last words Robert entered the hospital via the large double doors. Susan just stood there, a little lost for words. Obviously a lot had changed since her departure.  
  
********  
  
"Dr Lewis?" asked a very familiar voice.  
  
"Hello Haleh" Susan greeted, hugging the nurse.  
  
"Well I never expected to see you again. Are ya back working at County?"  
  
"Yeh I'm an attending now"  
  
"Wow an attending. Must be about four years since I last saw you. Time sure does fly."  
  
"I know" Susan laughed. "I just met the new chief of staff".  
  
"Oh Rocket Romano. Watch him cause he's an arrogant, moody little toad. Nothing ever pleases him."  
  
"Reception sure has changed" Susan sighed looking at the new look plan. "Everything seems so different"  
  
"You didn't expect County to remain the same as it did four years ago did you?" Haleh laughed before leaving for an exam room.  
  
Susan walked through reception but all she came across were strange, new faces. Was the decision to come back here a mistake? I certainly can't go back to Phoenix now. Maybe I should never have left Chicago to begin with. For four years I've been miserable and unhappy, and the time has come for me to change that and move on with my life. So why am I moving back to the past?  
  
"Hey Susan!" John exclaimed, very surprised to see her but none the less very happy at her return.  
  
"Hi Carter" she smiled turning around to face the doctor. "How are you?"  
  
"Me, oh I'm fine. What are you doing back in Chicago?"  
  
"To cut a long story short I'm working here again"  
  
"That's great! Mark's gonna be so....." John stopped halfway through the sentence. Mark probably would be happy at seeing Susan again but how would Elizabeth react if she found out that he once had very strong feelings for this other woman.  
  
"Is Mark still here?" Susan asked.  
  
"Yes...."John replied nervously.  
  
"Thank goodness" she sighed with relief. "I can't wait to see him again. Anyway I have a meeting with Weaver, heard she's head of the ER, I'll catch up with you later"  
  
"Great to see you again" John replied dashing off to warn Mark. Susan's return would no doubt cause some sort of trouble.  
  
********  
  
Elizabeth stood at the sink scrubbing in for an appendectomy on a forty year old man when Romano walked in.  
  
"Good morning Lizzie" he grinned, knowing how much she hated to be called Lizzie.  
  
"Is it?" she asked. That morning she had had a silly argument with Mark about where they should hold the reception for their wedding. Elizabeth had wanted to hold it in a different hotel from Mark and their discussion had escalated into a petty fight.  
  
"What's wrong, had a fight with lover boy?"  
  
"No" she lied.  
  
"I can see the wedding of the year not taking place at all" he smirked.  
  
"Well you'll not want an invite then" she replied bitterly, annoyed at his sarcastic comments.  
  
"Lizzie I'm hurt, I thought I would have been at the top of your guest list"  
  
"Mmmmm" she muttered to herself. I'd rather invite Hannibal Lecter than you.  
  
"Have you seen the ER's new attending yet?"  
  
"No, should I have?"  
  
"Susan Lewis, quite a looker actually. Nice, long legs."  
  
"I'm sure she'll be glad of your compliment" But the name, Susan Lewis........... It seems to ring a bell as if I've heard it somewhere before. Maybe Mark has mentioned her, I'll enquire later.  
  
********  
  
Susan ran through the icy rain to the ambulance bay where the EMT's were just rolling up with a patient. The cold droplets of rain soaked her chestnut brown hair and fell freely down her cheeks. Every tiny raindrop felt like a bullet to her chest and she was soon freezing cold and extremely wet. "What have we got?"Susan asked trying to make herself heard through the whistling wind of the brutal storm.  
  
"21 year old woman, stab wound to the abdomen, BP 110/80, pulse 70"Zadro informed her.  
  
"Randi what's free?"Susan asked passing reception with the gurney.  
  
"I think Trauma 2 is empty" the receptionist replied glancing through a fashion magazine.  
  
"Thanks Randi" Susan said as she wheeled her patient into the room. "Okay gently on my count, 1, 2, 3. Alright let's get an abdomen series, start a round of atrophine, 10 of morphine, get a CBC and a Type and cross match."  
  
"Need a hand in here?" asked Luka putting on his gloves.  
  
"Uh sure"  
  
"Okay start an IV of saline, hook her up to an EKG, get a peritoneal lavage and page surgery down here"Luka ordered.  
  
"Oh my goodness, Natalie!"screamed a woman standing outside the doors.  
  
"Lydia can you show her to chairs?"Susan asked.  
  
"Sure" the nurse replied leading the hysterical woman away from the scene.  
  
"Lavage is positive" Luka said worringly.  
  
"BP's falling 90/60!"Abby shouted. "She's loosing blood as fast as we give it to her"  
  
"The knife must have sliced her liver" Susan sighed. "We need to operate quickly to stop the bleeding"  
  
"BP's still falling, she's bleding out!"  
  
"There's too much blood, I can't see to operate" Luka groaned.  
  
"Did someone page me?" Elizabeth asked entering the room, watching the two doctors frantically recing against time to save their patient.  
  
"21 year old. stab wounds to the abdomen and liver, BP's 80/50 and falling" Abby told her whilst putting another two units of blood.  
  
Suddenly the EKG started bleeping madly.  
  
"She's in V-Fib!"  
  
"Paddles!" demanded Susan. "Charge to 200, clear!"  
  
"Still in V-Fib" Luka noted.  
  
"Charge to 300, clear!"  
  
********  
  
"Mark, Mark!" Carter shouted as he ran through reception.  
  
"Uh John I'm a little busy, I've got patient reports to catch up on" Greene replied taking off his spctacles and cleaning them with a piece of cloth.  
  
"No Mark it's very important" John continued, desperate for his friend to listen.  
  
"Okay but make it quick"  
  
"It's about Su.........."  
  
"Twenty two year old male, unconscious from MVA" Pickman said wheeling a patient through the doors.  
  
"Gotta go Carter, we'll talk later" Mark told him before leaving.  
  
Carter sighed loudly. Sooner or later the pair would meet and when they did fireworks were sure to fly.  
  
********  
  
"Charge again, clear!"  
  
"Still in V-Fib"Abby shook her head.  
  
"Okay lets call it"Elizabeth said sadly pulling off her gloves.  
  
"No we can't just give up"Susan protested.  
  
"She's been down forty five minutes!"  
  
"There's still a chance"  
  
"A very small chance" the surgeon replied defiantly.  
  
"Another five minutes isn't going to hurt" Susan replied.  
  
"She has been down for too long. Call it and end her pain"  
  
Susan stared at Elizabeth but the Englishwoman returned her hard stare.  
  
"Time of death 10.04" she bitterly said, throwing away her gloves and storming out of the room. Abby and Luka meanwhile gave each other very concerned glances.  
  
********  
  
John had searched nearly the whole hospital but still couldn't find Mark. he pushed the door open to the staff room where he found Susan making a fresh pot of coffee.  
  
"Want some?" she asked, flashing her usual friendly smile.  
  
"Sure"he replied taking a seat. "Are you okay Susan, you seem a little upset?"  
  
"No not really" she sighed. "I had a little argument with a surgeon in trauma just there. Elizabeth I think her name was"  
  
Oh great, Carter thought. Sparks are already flying between the pair.  
  
"Oh I don't know John. My life is a mess. I left all my friends to live in Phoenix but now I just can't adapt to living back here"  
  
"What happened in Phoenix?" he asked.  
  
"Uh.....nothing, nothing at all" she mumbled.  
  
"Why did you come back then?"  
  
"Things just didn't work out, that's all"  
  
"Don't get me wrong I think it's great that you're back but I thought the whole point of moving was to be closer to Susie"  
  
Susie, she thought. Little Susie.  
  
"It was" Susan replied.  
  
John looked at Susan waiting for her to speak again. he knew something big had happened in Phoenix to prompt Susan in moving back to Chicago.  
  
"Look John, nothing happened" Nothing I want to talk about anyway  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Oh for goodness sakes John, stop the questions!" she snapped. Susan suddenly realised she had just screamed at one of her few and closest friends, immediately filling her with guilt. "Look I'm sorry" she apologised running out of the staff room. "I'm very sorry"  
  
Susan wlked quickly to reception, picking up speed with each step. Grabbing a chart she glanced behind her, only to be met by Mark Greene's stare.  
  
Author's Notes: Okay I know, I'm mean for leving it there, tee hee hee! So what did reaaly happen in Phoenix and what will happen now that Mark has found out about Susan's surprise return? Oh and about the trauma scenes, i don't know if the medical terminology is correct because I'm not a doctor but if anyone is good at medical scens please lt me know how I'm doing. Thanks for reading and as always feedback is gratefully accepted. 


	2. Don't Want You Back Chapter 2

Don't Want You Back  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Author: Lockhart  
  
E-mail: Katie@ballantyne24.freeserve.co.uk  
  
Category: Susan Lewis/ Mark Greene/ Elizabeth Corday  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Spoilers: Contains spoilers for season 6 and 7  
  
Archive: Archive this fic on your site if you wish but please let me know first  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters but I sure wish I did  
  
Authors Notes: See end of fic  
  
Summary: Continuation of Don't Want You Back Chapter 1  
  
Mark couldn't believe his eyes. Maybe this was an imaginary illusion, maybe the woman that stood a few yards away from him wasn't really Susan Lewis. Perhaps he just didn't want to believe it really was the woman he last saw on a train heading for Phoenix. "Susan?" Mark shook his head in disbelief.  
  
"Hello Mark" she smiled, happy to see her best friend again.  
  
"What are you doing back?" he asked.  
  
Susan's smile faded. It was silly to expect him to jump for joy at seeing the woman who left him after his declaration of love. "I'm an attending here now" she answered rubbing the back of her neck with her right hand.  
  
Should I be happy now that Susan is back, Mark asked himself. Four years ago she left me with a broken heart and now am I supposed to welcome her back with my arms wide open? After my assault I needed her there by my side to comfort and love me but she still never returned. I had to go through a difficult part of my life without my best friend. But it is wonderful to see Susan's face again. I've missed you so much.  
  
Talk to me Mark. thought Susan. Please say something. Are you pleased to see me, or full of bitterness and resent? No, you have a kind heart Mark. I have thought about you over the past years and missed you terribly. If only you could read my mind. Mark, I'm pleading with you, forgive me for leaving you.  
  
"It's great to have you back" he finally said before giving her a hug.  
  
"Oh Mark" Susan glowed with happiness as she wrapped her arms tight around his waist. It felt so safe in his warm embrace.  
  
"Dr Greene, labs are back on Mrs Stewart" Conni told him whilst handing over a chart.  
  
"Thanks Conni" Mark said before finally letting go of Susan. "See you later"  
  
"Goodbye Mark" Susan replied cheerfully.  
  
"Dr Lewis, EMT's rolling up with a nine month baby"Abby informed her.  
  
"Okay" Susan sighed grabbing a pair of gloves and dashing outside to the ambulance bay.  
  
"Nine month year old girl, parents found her unconscious in her crib, Pulse 90, BP 50/80, resps 10 per minute" Pickman informed, unloading the patient from the ambulance.  
  
"She's cyanotic"Susan sighed sadly, noticing the blue around her lips and fingers. "Is Trauma 2 free?" Susan asked Frank, running behind the paramedics.  
  
"Yeh I think so"Frank answered whilst on the telephone.  
  
"Please save my baby" the mother cried in tears. "Don't let Jennifer die!"  
  
"We'll try our best"Susan replied entering through the doors of the trauma room. "Okay gently on my count, 1, 2, 3" she counted as the paramedics rolled her patient onto the bed. "Okay lets get a mask on her, get a Chem 7, blood gas and pulse ox"  
  
"BP still pretty low, 50/70" Lydia told her.  
  
"She's hypertensive, start an IV drip of Dopamine" Susan ordered whilst listening to the baby's lungs through her stethoscope.  
  
"Pulse Ox 90" Heleh measured.  
  
"Alright we'll raise the epi to get a better pulse and we'll also do an ABG"  
  
"Doctor what's wrong with my baby?" asked Mrs Ross.  
  
"We don't know but we're doing everything we can to help her" Susan answered honestly. "It might be better if you wait outside in chairs"  
  
"No we want to stay here with Jennifer" the father replied coldly.  
  
"Dr Lewis we've lost the pulse!" Lydia shouted.  
  
"Okay we nedd to intubate" Susan said as Haleh brought over the Intubation Tray. She used the laryngoscope to open the baby's larynx and inserted the tube into the trachea through the mouth. "I'm in bag her"  
  
"Jennifer!" screamed Mrs Ross.  
  
"Starting chest compressions" Susan stated as she pressed down on the patient's chest. She felt a tiny tear trickle down her cheek. This brought back too many painful memories for her. "Lydia will go find Weaver?" she asked, choking in tears.  
  
"Okay" the nurse nodded as she exited the room.  
  
Susan tried her best to hold back the tears. She couldn't let another mother go through the same pain she had to endure.  
  
"What's the bullet?" Kerry asked as she limped into the room.  
  
"Just take over please" Susan whispered as she ran as fast as she could out of Trauma 2. The tears fell freely down her face and onto her white lab coat as she dashed past reception, gaining speed as she ran. Finally stopping at the stairs she sat down on the bottom step and buried her head in her hands. Jennifer's tiny face, tiny fingers, the lock of her golden hair on her head.......... It reminded Susan of another tiny baby. It was hurting so much.  
  
** "You can't stop my access to Susie!" Susan yelled in fury.  
  
"She's my daughter!" Chloe screamed back at her sister. "My daughter, I gave birth to her, not you Susan!"  
  
"Do you remember when you left her Chloe? Huh, do you remember that? I had to look after her, I had to comfort her. When she was crying I fed her, when she was tired I sang her a lullaby. Susie is just as much my daughter as she is yours"  
  
"No Susan you are wrong. I'm this baby's mother and I make the decisions in her life. I am warning you to stay away from Susie and me"  
  
With those last words Chloe ran out of the house and slammed the door shut in rage. Susan was left all alone in the cold empty house....again. **  
  
"Susan are you okay?" John asked taking a seat beside the upset woman.  
  
"I'm fine she replied breathing heavily.  
  
"Come here" he shook his head, placing his arm around her. "Did Weaver upset you?"  
  
"No" she said, her eyes yet agian filling up with tears.  
  
"What's wrong Susan? I'm your friend, I do care about you"  
  
"I keep seeing her John" Susan wept. "Her beautiful, tiny face. It hurts so much. It's my fault, I lost her because I got angry"  
  
"Who?" John asked. He couldn't understand what she was trying to tell him.  
  
"I miss her so much. I'll never see her ever again and it's all my fault. My fault!"  
  
"Is it Susie?"  
  
"Oh John!" Susan cried burying her face in his chest. She felt physically sick and was shaking all over. Nobody could understand her pain. She was all alone.  
  
"It's okay" he told her, stroking her chestnut brown hair with his hand. "It's okay"  
  
No it's not okay, Susan thought. It will never be okay. I'm sorry John but you will never understand.  
  
********  
  
"Mark!"Elizabeth shouted across the Admin desk.  
  
"Hi Darling" he kissed her tenderly on the lips.  
  
"Look Mark I'm sorry about this morning, it's stupid to argue about our wedding arrangements. As long as I become Mrs Greene I don't care what hotel we hold the reception in"  
  
"Yeh I'm sorry too" he kissed her again. "Hey you want to go out tonight for dinner?"  
  
"Okay, if you're buying" she laughed.  
  
"There's a new Italian restaurant opened a few blocks away from here, I thought we could give it a try?"  
  
"Sounds great" Elizabeth replied.  
  
"Oh I want to introduce you to someone" he smiled taking her hand and leading her through the hospital to the stairs by the elevator.  
  
"Hi Mark" Susan greeted him wiping away her tears.  
  
Oh great, thought Carter. He's going to introduce Susan to Elizabeth. Not a smart move Mark.  
  
"I think I have a patient in Curtain 2 to see" John lied, sprinting away as fast as he could.  
  
"Susan, I'd like you to meet Elizabeth Corday, my beautiful fiancee" Mark introduced the pair.  
  
"We've already met" Susan glared angrily at Elizabeth, remembering the incident earlier. She noticed the surgeon's large bump which Mark placed his hand tenderly over. Pangs of jealousy hit her heart like tiny bullets fired from a gun. Of course she expected Mark to have moved on, but not engaged and about to experience fatherhood for a second time.  
  
"Is there some sort of social event going on that I'm not aware of?"Romano barked as he walked up to the three doctors. "Ah Dr Lewis"he smiled facing her. "You can't seem to keep away from me today"  
  
"Must be the aftershave you're wearing"she answered sarcastically.  
  
"Or it could be my rugged, handsome good looks that most women find irresistable"  
  
Susan struggled hard to smile. His cocky lady-killer grin which he flashed to her almost made her feel sick to the stomach.  
  
"Dr Lewis, can I have a word please?" Kerry asked from afar.  
  
"Sure" she sighed, knowing well this was about the baby she ran out on.  
  
"Goodbye Susie"Romano grinned.  
  
"It's Susan" she told him sharply. Susie.............Susie. Just the name brought tears to her eyes.  
  
"What have you never been called Susie before?" he asked her. "Sounds so cute, Susie Lewis"  
  
"Yes well my name is Susan" Susie was gone, just a painful memory of the past. Susan walked away, wiping the tears away from her eyes. She didn't need to be reminded of her neice, a part of her past.  
  
"Goodbye Sus-an" Robert laughed, the sarcasm showing in his voice. "Like I told, she has great legs" he whispered to Elizabeth before heading for the elevators. Lizzie simply shook her head and sighed.  
  
********  
  
"You wanted to see me Dr Weaver?" Susan asked as she closed the door of the staff room behind her.  
  
"I think you know what this is about" the chief replied, pouring herself out a large cup of coffee.  
  
"I'm sorry, I let my emotions get the better of me whilst treating the baby, it will not happen again"  
  
"Susan it can't happen. You are an attending now, you have to set a good example. I remember this happened years ago"  
  
"Here we go again!"Susan shouted in rage. "Yes four years ago I lost my neice and yes I was a liitle emotional but I've changed now"  
  
"Susan what's happened to you, I've never seen you so angry before"  
  
"Oh cut the caring act Kerry, you've never liked me so you don't need to act like my friend"  
  
"Dr Lewis you better change your attitude fast or you will not be back here for very long" Kerry threatened her before quickly leaving.  
  
Susan punched the wall with her fist. She didn't need everyone's sympathy. All she wanted was one man's love.  
  
********  
  
"The food was great there" Elizabeth exclaimed as she sat down in the comfortable chair of her own sitting room.  
  
"I agree. Want a coffee?" Mark asked.  
  
"Yes please" his fiancee replied. "I can't wait till the scan tomorrow"  
  
"What do you think it'll be, a boy or a girl?"  
  
"Something tells me we will be the proud parents of a little girl" Elizabeth laughed.  
  
"Really, I have a feeling it'll be a boy" he said.  
  
"Oh Mark!" she continued to laugh whilst throwing a cushion at him.  
  
"Amy for a girl, Joshua for a boy" he remembered throwing the cushion back at her. "You know what else I was thinking, we should invite some friends over for dinner some time, eh?"  
  
"Nice idea, we could invite Abby and Luka"  
  
"Mmmmmm, or Carter and Susan"  
  
Susan....... It had been a lovely conversation about the baby, until her name was mentioned. Mark had talked about her non stop during dinner. Apparently they were good friends before she left for Phoenix. There was something about the woman that Elizabeth didn't like. Mark had chatted about her as if they were past lovers. Maybe it was all in her silly imagination.Mark was marrying her, not Susan. But there was something definately not right. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, Elizabeth thought. There is no way I am going to lose the man of my dreams to her!  
  
********  
  
"I can't believe Mark is engaged" Susan shook her head in disbelief. "Can't say I like his choice of girlfriend"  
  
"Susan you hardly know her!" Carter frowned.  
  
"So?"  
  
"So you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, ever heard that phrase?"  
  
"Are you guys ready to order?"a friendly waitress asked as she aproached them. Susan has finally decided to join Carter for a friendly drink in Doc Magoos.  
  
"Just a coffee" John answered.  
  
"Yeh the same please" Susan smiled as she handed the waitress back the menu.  
  
"It's great to have you back Susan" John finally said after a long pause of ackward silence.  
  
"I heard about your stabbing" she replied sadly.  
  
"Yeh" he nodded. "I'm lucky to be alive. My student Lucy didn't survive, which was partly my fault"  
  
"You shouldn't blame yourself" she said taking hold of his hand.  
  
"Why, I am partly to blame. I didn't supervise her and because of my negligance I lost her. Lucy was a great friend. It hurts every time I think about her.  
  
Susan nodded. She understood every word John spoke because she had been through the exact same pain.  
  
"After the stabbing I became addicted to to painkillers. The lowest point of my life was when I stole some Fentanyl from the hospital. I was so desperate at the time. I felt as though I couldn't go on anymore. Mark and Kerry found out about my drug addiction and I finally agreed to check myself in at a clinic in Atlanta. It was tough there, you have no idea how hard a time it was in Atlanta"  
  
"I'm so sorry John" Susan apologised. "I should have been here to help you through the tough times"  
  
"Don't blame yourself Susan. I've finally realised my mistakes and now trying to get my life back together"  
  
Susan stared blankly out of the window. She sighed and clicked her tongue as she watched the tiny droplets of rain fall down the window. She now had to get her life back together too. There was only one man who could make it complete - Mark Greene.  
  
Authors Notes: So it's shaping up into a fight between Elizabeth and Susan for Mark Greene's affections but what does each woman have in store for each other? Will Mark find himself falling in love again with Dr Lewis or is Elizabeth his true soulmate? Did Susan ever see Susie again and what really did happen in Phoenix? Find out in Chapter 3! As always any feedback is greatly accepted. 


	3. Don't Want You Back Chapter 3

Don't Want You Back  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
  
Author: Lockhart  
  
E-mail: Katie@ballantyne24.freeserve.co.uk  
  
Category: Susan Lewis/ Mark Greene/ Elizabeth Corday  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Spoilers: Contains minor spoilers for season 7  
  
Archive: Archive my fic on your site if you wish but please let me know first  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters but I sure wish I did (especially Carter, tee hee!)  
  
Authors Notes: See end of fic  
  
Summary: Continuation of Don't Want You Back 2  
  
** Susan sipped the large glass of brandy before placing it on the wooden table before her. It had been three months now since she had lasy seen little Susie and not a day had gone by where she had not thought about the girl. Chloe had not been in contact at all since their argument. Typical Chloe, running away from her problems instead of sorting them out. Susan sat in the darkened living room of her ground floor flat. Maybe I've made a mistake in moving to Phoenix, she thought. Staff at Great Hope Hospital gave her the cold shoulder and made no real attempt to get to know her. Last night she had had yet another blazing argument with the Chief of the ER, Dr David Kingston. He made it quite clear he didn't think she was capable of handling Trauma situations and was letting her personal life interfere with her work. Maybe he's right, she thought sadly. My life is a comlete mess because I hang on to the past. Why can't I move on? Sometimes I feel like ending it all. A loud knock at the door broke her thoughts. "Okay I'm coming" she sighed as the person knocked once more. "Chloe?" she exclaimed, opening the door to the surprise sight of her sister and neice.  
  
"Susan, he's left me" Chloe sobbed, the tears falling down her face onto the denim jacket she was wearing.  
  
"Are you talking about Joe?" Susan asked leaning against the door.  
  
"Of course! He said he didn't love me anymore. We had a row because I was fired from my job at the department store. Then he said he didn't want to be tied down for the rest of his life with a a baby and a lazy, unreasonable, selfish girlfriend. Why did he have to leave me Susan, why?"  
  
"Come inside" Susan said before taking Susie out of Chloe's arms. "Everything will be okay" she reassured her sister.  
  
"No!" Chloe shouted in tears. "Things won't be okay. I'm pregnant!"  
  
Susan stood still for a moment, a little lost for words. Chloe would yet again bring another child into the world without the emotional and financial support of a proper family. She felt sorry for the child growing inside her sister. Would Chloe abandon this baby like she previously did with Susie? Or would something else happen to dramatically change all their lives forever? **  
  
"Dr Lewis"  
  
"What.............?" Susan asked rubbing her eyes irratably.  
  
"Incoming RTA, 2 majors, 3 minors" Abby answered.  
  
"Oh" she replied suddenly realising she lay in an empty room in the hospital, catching up on some rest.  
  
"Are you okay?" Abby asked, noticing the blank, sad expression on her collegue's face.  
  
"I'm fine" Susan smiled, tying back her chestnut brown hair. If only that was the truth, she sighed. Why am I always reminded of memories that I wish to forget? Perhaps it is time I face up to the past.  
  
********  
  
"What have we got?" Susan asked grabbing a pair of gloves and running alongside the incoming paramedics.  
  
"24 year old woman, stab wound to the chest. BP 80/50, pulse 60" Pickman informed her.  
  
"Is my mommy gonna be okay?" a little girl asked. The tears were flowing down her cheeks and her white t-shirt was drenched in bright red blood.  
  
"C'mon sweetheart, lets find you some clean clothes" Lydia smiled taking the girl by the hand and leading her away from Susan and the paramedics.  
  
"Daughter told us a man ran up to them from behind and grabbed her mother's handbag. When she refused to let go he pulled out a knife and stabbed her"  
  
"That's terrible" Susan shook her head. How could people be so capable of such cruel and heartless crimes? "Alright gently on my count, 1, 2, 3" she counted as they moved the patient on to another gurney. "Okay lets get a CBC, type and cross match, Chem 20, blood gas and PT. Start her on a round of atropine, hook her up to an IV drip of Dopamine and lets give her 10 of morphine"  
  
"What's the bullet?" Mark asked as he walked through the doors of the room.  
  
"24 year old woman, stab wound to the chest" Suan answered him.  
  
"I'll intubate, you throw in a central line" he ordered.  
  
"Pupils unreactive, GCS score about a 5"  
  
"I'm in bag her" Mark called to Malik as he completed the intubation. "Order a chest and abdominal series x-rays, lets slao get a paratenial lavage"  
  
"Weak breath sounds" Susan noted as she threw her stethoscope back over her shoulders. "Put another four units of O- on the rapid infuser and hook her up to a monitor"  
  
"Heart rates down to 50" Abby said worringly.  
  
"Another milligram of atropine" Suan ordered. "5 of morphine and I'll put in a chest tube"  
  
"BP 70/40, heart rate still falling" Yosh told the two doctors.  
  
"Lavage is......positive" Mark sighed.  
  
"We've lost the pulse!" Abby shouted.  
  
"Start compressions" Susan replied.  
  
"No we need to perform a thoracotomy" Mark said. "Thoracotomy tray now!"  
  
Susan stood back as she watched Mark cut open the woman's chest. Why did innocent humans have to endure so much pain and suffering?  
  
"Suction please" he asked, breaking her out of her thoughts. "Just as I thought there's a hole in her heart. Okay I'll suture the wound and we'll take her up the OR"  
  
"V-Fib!" Yosh called as the machines started bleeping madly.  
  
"Internal paddles" Susan ordered as Abby fetched them for her.  
  
"Okay go" Mark said as he finished sewing the damaged vessel.  
  
"Charge to 60, clear!"  
  
"Still in V-Fib" he shook his head.  
  
"Charge to 80, clear!"  
  
"Back in sinus rhythm" Mark smiled cheerfully. "Great work Susan"  
  
"Well I couldn't have done it without you" she laughed, feeling her cheeks turn a slight shade of beetroot. "Page the OR, tell them we're on our way. I'll go talk to the daughter"  
  
"See you later then" Mark nodded.  
  
Susan took off her blood stained gloves and gown before heading through to the waiting area where Lydia sat with the little girl.  
  
"Is mommy gonna be okay?" she asked again.  
  
"I think so" Susan nodded.  
  
"Thank you" Jade whispered to her. "Thank you for saving mommy"  
  
********  
  
Susan sat outside the hospital, rubbing her arms in a bid to keep warm. She hoped Jade's mum would make it out of the OR alright. A young daughter would be lost in the world without her mother. Likewise a mother would be lost without her daughter to look after. Susan had learned that the hard way.  
  
"Hi Susan" Mark greeted her, taking a seat beside the female doctor. "It's pretty cold out here, I should be wearing a jacket"  
  
Susan laughed at his words. "Well the weatherman forcasts snow for this afternoon" she told him. "Winter is definately here"  
  
"Oh I love the snow" Mark replied  
  
"Do you even say that at six o'clock in the morning when you are trying to defrost your car in the cold?" she asked, grinning as she spoke.  
  
"No I take the EL" he laughed.  
  
"Mark!" she punched him playfully.  
  
"I do seriously like the snow though. I remember when I stayed in New York for a short while. It was Christmas Day and the streets were covered in a beautiful white blanket. Twinkling Christmas lights lit up the street, the smell of turkey floated in the air, it was so pretty"  
  
"It sounds magical" Susan gasped, listening to his every word.  
  
"I'll take you there someday" he promised. "We can even go ice skating in Central Park"  
  
"Well I'm not helping you up if you fall" she laughed, remembering Mark was the world's worst skater.  
  
"Just for those cruel words Susan, I'm not taking you anymore"  
  
The pair laughed for a few seconds before falling into a minute of ackward silence. A few years ago the pair could have talked non stop but now they didn't quite know what to say to each other.  
  
"Mark....." Susan began in a quiet voice, almost resembling a loud whisper. "I am sorry"  
  
"Sorry for what?" he asked, taking a sip of coffee from the polystyrene cup he was holding.  
  
"Sorry for leaving you. I still remember what happened at the station before the train departed. I f only I could turn back the clock and........."  
  
"Susan" Mark interupted. "Stop this talk immediately. I don't hate you, you're my friend. The past is the past, we've both moved on. I've found Elizabeth who has made me so happy. I'm about to be a father again, life couldn't be better. You have nothing to apologise for"  
  
Maybe you have moved on Mark but I haven't, Susan thought. All my life I have been trying to find comfort, love and companionship in one person. Now I've just realised the one person I have been looking for was right in front of me. That one person was you, Mark Greene. I need you Mark, I need you more than ever. It is you I wish to wake up beside each morning, it is you I would like to cuddle up to on the seatee and watch romantic films, it is you I want to hold me in your warm embrace and comfort me when I'm upset. I haven't moved on, I don't want to move on.  
  
"I better get back to my patients" Mark said as he began walking to the entrance of Cook County. "See you later Susan" he waved goodbye.  
  
"Bye Mark" she whispered sadly. She had left it too late to return. The only one person she had left in the world had........gone.  
  
********  
  
Elizabeth sat alone in the OB room. No man crouching at her side, guessing if it would be a boy or a girl, discussing a thousand possible names. No Elizabeth was all alone.  
  
"Congratulations Dr Corday" Janet Coburn smiled. "You are expecting a healthy baby girl"  
  
"Thank you" Elizabeth smiled. She only wished Mark was here to share her joy. He promised to arrive early for the scan but had not bothered to show up at all. She had been ecstatic since finding out about her pregnancy. All week the couple had been looking forward to the scan but obviously Mark hadn't quite shared the same amount of enthusiasm as Elizabeth. He's probably held up with a patient, Elizabeth told herself whilst staring at the picture of her unborn daughter. Or held up with Susan. She seems more important than I am. I love you Mark, please don't leave me now.  
  
********  
  
"Another patient saved by Dr Dave" Malucci laughed, signing off a chart.  
  
"Mmmm, Dr Dave the super hero" Chuny grinned sarcastically.  
  
"Call me Dr Dave the gorgeous medic if you wish!"  
  
"Well romeo" Susan started. "A woman named Courtney phoned earlier, asked if you were free tonight"  
  
"Everyone wants a piece of me" he shook his head before picking up the phone.  
  
"I hope that's not a personal call Dr Malucci" Kerry warned him as she limped into reception.  
  
"Uh, of course not Chief" he lied. "Just checking up on a patient in the OR"  
  
"Always the compassionate, caring man Dave"  
  
"You're too kind Chief" he grinned cheekily.  
  
"41 year old woman, suspected overdose" Zadro told the doctors as the paramedics rushed another patient through the doors.  
  
"Alright Drs Lewis and Malucci, work on her in Trauma 3" Kerry instructed before heading off to an Exam room.  
  
"Who made her Chief of the ER?" Susan growled, throwing down her pen.  
  
"The same idiot who promoted Romano to Chief of Staff" Dave replied running beside the moving gurney.  
  
"Her sister raised the alarm" Zadro continued. "Suspected overdose of paracetemol, BP 70/30, pulse 50, we intubated and bagged on route"  
  
"Okay lets get a tox screen, Chem 20, pump her stomach, start her ona round of Atrophine and Dopamine, start an IV of normal Saline, 5mg of charcoal, and a drip of of 10cc's bolus every two minutes" Dave ordered following Zadro and Doris into the trauma room.Susan froze outside the double doors. She couldn't move a single muscle in her body as she watched them lift the patient onto the bed. The scane was all too familiar for her.  
  
** Susan kissed Susie on the forehead and placed her gently onto her crib. "Goodnight sweetheart" she whispered before gently closing the door behind her. "Chloe are you still in the bathroom?" Susan asked, knocking twice on the wooden door. "Chloe?" After receiving no reply, she turned the handle of the door only to be met by a horrible sight. "Chloe!" the horrified doctor screamed, crouching down beside the body of her sister. Her wrists were bleeding furiously and beside her lay an empty bottle of pills. "Oh Chloe" Susan managed to choke through her tears as she checked for a pulse. "Why Chloe, why?" **  
  
"Dammit she's seizing!" Dave shouted. "Find out if she has a histort of epilepsy and lets give her 50mg of Donnatal and 1mg of Phenobarbital. Dr Lewis, we need you!"  
  
"Sorry" she replied quietly before gently pushing the heavy double doors open.  
  
********  
  
"Lydia are my labs back on Mr Merrik?" Mark asked as he started clearing a few names off the board in reception.  
  
"No, I don't think so" the nurse answered.  
  
"Any incoming traumas?"  
  
"No it's been a quiet morning so far"  
  
"It sure has been"  
  
"Mark" Elizabeth growled as she marched towards him.  
  
"Hi" he smiled unaware of what he had forgotten about.  
  
"You better have an excellent excuse Mark Greene" she snapped, frowning at him with her small blue eyes that had lost their usual sparkle.  
  
"Excuse me?" he replied.  
  
"You forgot didn't you?" Elizabeth asked angrily. "I can't believe you would forget the most important event for us"  
  
"Elizabeth I have no idea what you are talking about. Please calm down, have I missed a meeting concerned with our wedding?"  
  
"Do not tell me to calm down! Ten minutes ago I had my scan but somebody didn't seem to bother to come"  
  
"Oh no" Mark said, realisisng what he had just forgotten to attend. How could he be so stupid in letting down Elizabeth and his unboen child?  
  
"So what emergency held you up in the Er? Oh let me guess, Susan Lewis"  
  
"That's not fair" he replied. "You are more important to me than Susan"  
  
"Really Mark?" the Englishwoman looked surprised. "So where were you when I was in the OB department?"  
  
Mark sighed as he realised he hed been talking to Susan at that particular time. Now he knew why Elizabeth was so disappointed with him. "With her" he sadly answered.  
  
"Okay" she whispered, shaking her head in anger and sadness. "That's okay" she repeated before walking away.  
  
"Elizabeth!" Mark called after her in frustration.  
  
"Just leave me alone Mark. Whatever you have to say I don't want to hear it. Why don't you go pour your heart out to Susan?"  
  
"Liz wait!"  
  
"Oh and just incase you are interested, we're having a baby girl" With those last words the female surgeon quickly walked away, never once looking back at her fiance.  
  
Mark stood silently beside the Admin desk watching Elizabeth leave until she was out of sight. "I'm sorry" he whispered. "Forgive me Elizabeth"  
  
********  
  
Susan yawned as she continued to work through the very large pile of chart reviews that sat before her. She loved being a doctor because it gave her the chance to help people but hated the piles of boring paperwork that had to be done most days.  
  
"Isn't that gorgeous?" Randi cooed as she watched a shopping channel on the television in reception.  
  
"Don't you agree Dr Lewis?" Conni asked.  
  
"Yeh and I would need to save up ten months salary to afford it" Susan answered.  
  
"Dr Corday's engagement ring is gorgeous" Randi said, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger.  
  
"It is isn't it?" Conni nodded. "Her and Dr Greene make a wonderful couple"  
  
Susan sighed as she listened to their conversation. Perhaps it could have been her people described as Mark's perfect partner. At that exact moment she wanted Mark to hold her and say she was the most precious person in the world to him. She wanted a world where her and Mark lay in each others arms and no one was there to keep them apart. Especially no Elizabeth Corday. Why did she hate the woman? Susan certainly didn't know her well. Was it because she had stole the man whom had held Dr Lewis's heart over the past years? Or was it because she hated seeing another woman make him happy?  
  
"Dr Lewis, phone call for you" Frank said as he handed her the receiver.  
  
"Thanks Frank" she replied. "Hello Dr Lewis speaking. Hi dad. Yes, yes, of course I'll be there. Yes I promise. 11.30, okay, yes. Goodbye dad" Susan placed the phone down gently and took a great, deep breath.  
  
"Is everything okay?" Frank asked.  
  
"Fine" she smiled politely. All Susan knew was that tomorrow would be a very emotional day for her.  
  
********  
  
John closed the door of his locker and grabbed his brown leather bag. "Hi Elizabeth" he greeted her as she walked into the room.  
  
"Carter thank goodness I found you before you left" she gasped for breath.  
  
"What's wrong" he asked placing his thick, black scarf around his neck.  
  
"You know Susan Lewis well don't you?"  
  
"Yes" he answered, scared where Elizabeth's questions would lead to.  
  
"I heard she was good friends with Mark"  
  
"Yeh they were.....friends" John said, the ends of his smile beginning to tremble. He didn't want to hurt her with the truth.  
  
"Just friends then?" she enquired, folding her arms together.  
  
"Sure just friends. Anyway I need to go so....."  
  
"John!" she cried grabbing his arm to prevent him from walking away. "Please I need to know the truth. Did Mark ever hold stronger feeling than friendship for Susan?"  
  
John looked at the desperate expression on Elizabeth's face. He felt truly sorry for her.  
  
"Please" she pleaded with him.  
  
"Mark did love Susan but never had the courage to tell her" Carter started. "The day she left Phoenix, he followed her to the train station and finally told her how he really felt. Susan still left but Mark was left heartbroken for months"  
  
"I see" Elizabeth nodded.  
  
"This doesn't still mean Mark loves her" John tried to assure her. "If he didn't love you he would not be marrying you"  
  
"Thank you John" she said sadly before heading out of the room.  
  
What have I done, John asked himself. What have I just gone and done?  
  
********  
  
Susan exited the hospital through the automatic doors and felt the bitter wind against her face. Tiny droplets of snow fell onto her duffle coat as she walked with dificulty through the great piles of it that lay on the ground. I wish it was Summer, she thought. Oh how she loved those warm, sunny mornings in Chicago.  
  
"Susan!" a familiar voice shouted loudly which broke Susan from her thoughts.  
  
"Hello Elizabeth" Susan replied coldly, turning around to face the woman.  
  
"I'm warning you to stay away from my fiancee" Elizabeth glared at the other woman.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I said, stay away from Mark"  
  
"Elizabeth if I wish to speak to Mark, I will. You nor anyone else cannot stop me speaking to my good friend"  
  
"You are simply jealous of the fact that Mark loves me. He doesn't want you anymore, why can't you see that?"  
  
"You obviously don't trust him" Susan smirked. "You see me as threat to your "happy" relationship"  
  
Elizabeth stepped forward so her face stood only a few centimeteres away from Susan's. "Like I said before, stay away from Mark"  
  
"Or what Lizzie?"  
  
"Or there will be trouble"  
  
Authors Notes: So the tension is rising between Susan and Elizabeth. How will this battle end? Can Mark and Elizabeth patch up the problems in their relationship? What emotional problems will tomorrow bring for Dr Lewis? Did Chloe survive after her overdose? Stay tuned for chapter four where I guarantee an extremely dramatic scene. As always thanks for reading and feedback is greatly accepted. 


	4. Don't Want You Back Chapter 4

Don't Want You Back  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Author: Lockhart  
  
E-mail: Katie@ballantyne24.freeserve.co.uk  
  
Category: Susan Lewis/ Mark Greene/ Susan Lewis  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Spoilers: Contains minor spoilers for season 7  
  
Archive: Archive my fic on your site if you wish but please let me know first  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters but I sure wish I did(especially Carter and Dave, tee hee hee!)  
  
Authors Notes: See end of fic  
  
Summary: Continuation of Don't Want You Back 3  
  
Elizabeth stared out of the window at an elderly man and woman walking hand in hand down the pavement. They looked so happy and content with each other, smiling as they strolled down the paved road. I thought Mark and I would grow old together, Elizabeth thought to herself. I always imagined that years from now we would be that joyful couple, glowing with happiness from our years of marriage. Now I'm not quite so sure.  
  
"Do you want to go see a film tonight?" Mark asked, as they approached a set of traffic lights.  
  
"Not particulary" she replied in a glum, sad tone.  
  
"Elizabeth I am truly sorry for missing the scan. I made one mistake, why can't you forgive me?"  
  
"You just don't understand Mark" she snapped back. "This was an important event to me. We should have been there together as a couple to catch a glimpse of our unborn child. What angers me the most is that you spent the time with Susan Lewis. Is she really more important to you than our daughter?"  
  
"Of course not!"Mark exclaimed. "I love you and I feel terrible for missing the scan. I wish I could turn back time and be there with you and our child but I can't. You and the baby are the most important people in my life. Susan is only a friend"  
  
"So that's all she is then, a friend?" Elizabeth inquired.  
  
"Yes" Mark answered.  
  
"One thing I will not tolerate in a realationship is lies!" she shouted. "Carter told me how you really felt towards Susan. He told me how heartbroken you were when she left for Phoenix"  
  
"Okay I will admit it. I did have feelings towards Susan but that was years ago. I have moved on and I love you now. Only you, Elizabeth."  
  
Elizabeth stared at the diamond ring on her finger. Why didn't she believe Mark words? She wished she could believe she was the only woman for him but Susan's prescence still preyed on her mind.  
  
"Whatever you say Mark" she sighed. "Whatever you say"  
  
********  
  
Susan laughed as she flicked through a large, pink photo albulm. A particular photo of little Susie dressed in a pretty white dress with chocolate all over her face had caught her attention. Susie was smiling cheekily for the camera, holding her favourite teddy bear which was also covered in chocolate. Susan sighed as she closed the book and placed it on the coffee table beside her. How could one picture be such a painful memory?  
  
** "Susie, Susie, Susie. What a mess you have got yourself into" Susan laughed as she wiped the chocolate off the toddler's face with a damp cloth. She could never be cross with her neice. "I think it's your nap time now. Yes it is my darling, nap time" Susie giggled with delight as her aunt tickled her fingers and toes. It had been two months now since Chloe's overdose. After her release from hospital she started a course of anti-depressant drugs but they didn't seem to do any good. Chloe refused counselling and any help from doctors. It had been up to Susan to look after Susie whilst also working. This year she was aiming for an attending position within Great Hope Hospital but she had been so caught up in personal matters, her chances were not too great.  
  
"What time is it?" Chloe asked as she entered the sitting room.  
  
"Four pm" Susan answered as she watched her sister take a seat on the couch. "My shift starts at six, I trust you can manage to care for Susie till I come back?"  
  
"You couldn't do me a big favour and take her with you, could you?" Chloe asked as she rubbed her eyes irritibly.  
  
"Chloe............." Susan moaned. Day care fees were not exactly cheap but could she trust her sister to look after the toddler for a few hours?  
  
"Please sis, I'm tired and not feeling very well"  
  
"I suppose so" Susan sighed eventually. "Why don't you come to the hospital with me Chloe? There's a great doctor there....."  
  
"No Susan!" Chloe interrupted. "We've been down this road before. I don't need help, I'm perfectly in a fit state of mind to make my own decisions"  
  
"You've been depressed for months, you hardly eat or go out. In fact all you do is lie around the house all day. I care about you which is why I want you to seek professional help"  
  
"You're not my mother Susan!" Chloe screamed at the top of her voice. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" With those last words Chloe ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door shut. Susan shook her head and lifted her neice high into her arms. It was Susie she felt truly sorry for. Having a mother who could barely look after herself, never mind a child. The only thing Susan wanted to do was to provide a safe and secure future for Susie. In her eyes Susie was her daughter. **  
  
********  
  
"Hi Mark" Carter smiled as his old friend walked into the locker room. Mark didn't reply back or even acknowledge that John was in the room. "Heard you performed a great save on a kid with heart problems. It's great we have some doctors who perform what I would say is a miracle"  
  
"Mmmmmm........" Mark replied as he opened his locker and placed his coat inside.  
  
"So how are the wedding arrangements going?" John asked.  
  
"Thanks to you I'll be lucky if there is a wedding!" Mark snarled.  
  
"What!"  
  
"Oh don't play the innocent with me John. You probably couldn't wait to run and tell Elizabeth that I used to have feelings for Susan"  
  
"Elizabeth asked me to tell her the truth so I did. I can't lie to one of my friends Mark"  
  
"So you don't care that I might now lose the one woman I love?"  
  
"Of course I care" John protested. "Your love for Susan is now in the past, I didn't think it would matter if I told Elizabeth"  
  
"Well it does matter" Mark snapped. "Thanks a lot John, at least I know who my friends are"  
  
Carter leaned against his locker as he watched Mark leave the room. From the moment Susan arrived back at County he knew there would be trouble. How would this horrible mess end?  
  
********  
  
Susan kneeled down on the snow covered ground beside two gravestones. Taking off her black gloves, she placed her right hand on one of the stones. 'Susie Lewis' it read. It was such a small stone, carved beautifully into an oval shape. Susan sighed loudly as she touched the larger gravestone beside Susie's. 'Chloe Lewis'. One year ago today two lives were tragically cut short. One year ago today Susan had lost the two most important people in her life. As the tears started to slide down her cheeks and fall into the blanket of snow, she laid a bouquet of flowers beside Chloe's grave. Lilies, her favourite kind of flower. Beside Susie's stone she placed a small brown teddy bear. The same teddy Susie had been playing with in the photo Susan had been looking at earlier. Why did this have to happen, Susan asked herself. Why? My sister didn't deserve to die and neither did a young, innocent toddler. It hurts every time I think about it. People say time is great healer but it's been exactly one year since their deaths. One year of pain, anguish and suffering. I still can't get over the loss of my family, I still cry myself to sleep most nights. When will this horrible pain end?  
  
********  
  
"Good morning Lizzie" Robert grinned as he strolled into the room where Elizabeth was busy scrubbing in for surgery. "Glorious day today isn't it? The birds are singing, the sun is shining......"  
  
"There's ten feet of snow lying on the ground outside" Elizabeth finished his sentence.  
  
"Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning" Robert laughed sarcastically. "I thought you would be over the moon to hear you were expecting a daughter"  
  
"I am" Elizabeth replied. "I'm just a little tired, that's all"  
  
"Uh things that bad with Mark, eh?"  
  
"My relationship with Dr Greene is fine" she snapped. "Not that it's any of your business anyway"  
  
"Have you thought about a christening yet?" he asked, completely changing the subject.  
  
"Not yet, why?"  
  
"I hope I am at the top of your list for suitable godparents" Robert said in his predictable sarcastic tone.  
  
"Robert, do you honestly think you could act as an honest, loving, caring figure in my daughter's life? Someone she could turn to in times of help and admire as a human?"  
  
"I think I'd make an excellent godfather. In fact Lizzie I'm rather hurt that you are even questioning my capability. Have you and lover boy decided on a name?"  
  
"Firstly lover has a name, which is Mark, and no we have not decided on a name yet" she glared angrily at the man.  
  
"I always thought the name Susan was nice" Robert smirked at the female surgeon. He loved nothing better than to torment her.  
  
"Dr Romano" Jing-Mei Chen called as she stood by the door. "Dr Weaver needs you down in the Er"  
  
"Well Lizzie I am deeply sorry we have to cut our conversation short but I am needed elsewhere. Goodbye" With a large smirk on his face he walked past Jing-Mei towards the elevators.  
  
"He can't even be nice to anyone for at least a day can he?" Dr Chen shook her head.  
  
"Nooo....ooo...." Elizabeth started to speak but suddenly broke down in tears.  
  
"Elizabeth are you okay?" Jing-Mei asked as she wrapped her arm around the other woman.  
  
"I'm going to lose him" she sobbed.  
  
"Lose who?"  
  
"Mark. I love him so much. I don't think I could live without him. After two years together I thought I had finally met the one man I was destined to spend the rest of my life with. Now I'm going to lose him. I don't know what I will do if he's go back to Susan. I can't carry on without him in my life"  
  
"Shhhhhh, calm down" Jing-Mei cooed in a quiet, soothing tone to try and put Elizabeth at ease. "You are not going to lose Mark, he adores you. If he loved Susan don't you think he would have left you by now?"  
  
"Perhaps" the surgeon replied as she wiped away her tears. "I'm just so scared"  
  
"Elizabeth you are due to marry Mark in a few months time. You are even carrying the man's child! Don't let Susan Lewis spoil your happiness and your wonderful relationship"  
  
"You're right" Elizabeth smiled at long last. "I have nothing to worry about"  
  
"After your surgery come down to the Er, find Mark and arrange to go out tonight for dinner" Jing-Mei suggested. "He hasn't looked happy all day"  
  
"I will" Elizabeth smiled. "Thanks for your help"  
  
"What are friends for?" the doctor laughed as she left the room.  
  
For the first time this week Elizabeth could finally relax and stop worrying.  
  
********  
  
Susan pushed open the door to Exam room four and approached the young teenage girl that was sitting upright on the bed.  
  
"We have your test results back" she said, looking down at the chart she held in her hands.  
  
"I'm not ill, am I?" the girl named Alison asked. She had been brought in by a friend after fainting in the shopping mall.  
  
"The tests show you are four months pregnant" Susan answered taking a seat beside the young teenager.  
  
"I'm pregnant!" Alison exclaimed as she slumped against the pillows in surprise. "Please tell me you are joking, tell me this isn't true"  
  
"I am afraid I'm not joking" Susan replied, feeling rather sympathetic towards the young girl.  
  
"He told me you couldn't fall pregnant the first time" Alison cried. "Please don't tell my parents. They would kill me if they knew I was pregnant"  
  
"Don't worry everything is confidential" the doctor told her. "Although you really should tell your parents. If you decide to keep this baby they will eventually find out"  
  
"No I can't keep this baby. I don't even want it"  
  
"You could give the baby up for adoption"  
  
"I want a termination" Alison demanded.  
  
"That's a very big decision for somone as young as you are" Susan replied. "Perhaps you should contact a friend or a different relative"  
  
"Look I don't want to keep this baby. I'm sitting important exams at school this year, a kid will simply ruin my future."  
  
"Abortion isn't the only option. If you have the baby adopted........"  
  
"I told you I want an abortion"  
  
"So you're just going to kill your child!" Susan shouted at the teenager.  
  
"I can't care for a child" Alison said. "If I give my baby up for adoption I might not want to give him or her away after I give birth"  
  
"What if you regret the termination in a couple of years time?" Susan asked.  
  
"I will not regret it. Lots of women in America have abortions"  
  
"How would you feel if your mother had decided she didn't want you? Would you feel angry or sad knowing your mother was planning to get rid of you?"  
  
"Stop it your scaring me!" Alison yelled at the top of her voice. "Why can't you understand me? I don't want this baby!"  
  
Susan stared sadly at the girl sitting on the bed. Standing up she threw the chart angrily on the bed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. Marching through reception she headed towards the exit of the hospital looking extremely upset.  
  
"Susan" Mark called after her. "Susan what's wrong?"  
  
"I'm sorry Mark" she said, trying her best to hold back the tears that were filling up in her eyes.  
  
As she finally made her way out of the hospital, Susan collapsed onto a nearby bench and started crying. Holding her head in her hands, the tears fell freely dowm her pale cheeks and onto her white lab coat as she watched the tiny snowflakes fall from the dark night sky onto the ground. Why was the world so cruel? Would she ever be allowed to experience happiness in her life? Susan would have given anything to be able to turn back time and stop the horrible accident that took little Susie's life. Susie didn't deserve to die and neither did the innocent young baby the Alison was carrying. Susan had been hurting every day since the death of her neice, why was another child's life going to be cut tragically short? Susan stared hard at the starless sky and wondered if Susie was up there above the clouds. Sometimes she wished she was up there with her.  
  
"Susan" Mark called as he took a seat beside her on the cold bench. "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned for her well-being.  
  
"No" she replied folding her arms in a vain attempt to keep warm.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"My life is such a mess" she laughed bitterly. "Nothing ever seems to go right. Exactly one year ago today I lost the one person I cared about the most in this world. I don't understand why she had to die, she was so young. It should have been me instead!"  
  
"Don't talk like that" Mark said sharply. "You've been a wonderful friend to me, I don't think I could cope if you passed away"  
  
"Please help me Mark" Susan pleaded. "Help me get over this pain. I'm scared incase I lose you too"  
  
"Oh Susan" Mark whispered as he wrapped his arm around the crying doctor.  
  
She buried her face in his chest as she cried for her neice. The tiny droplets of water fell quickly down her face and onto the cold snow on the ground. The bitter wind whistled but Susan felt warm and safe in Mark's embrace.  
  
"Mark" she sighed as she raised her head to meet his face. Looking into his dark blue eyes she leaned forward slightly to kiss him tenderly on the lips. As Mark looked up he caught a glimpse of the figure standing metres behind Susan. The figure belonged to the woman he was intending on marrying in a few months time.  
  
"Elizabeth" he said loudly as he let go of the tight grip he had of Susan. "I can explain"  
  
"Don't bother Mark" the English suregon replied as she headed towards the ambulance bay.  
  
"Elizabeth!"  
  
"Mark wait" Susan shouted as he jumped off the bench and chased after his fiancee. "I love you" she whispered as the shadow of the male doctor disappeared into the distance.  
  
********  
  
Elizabeth ran as fast as she could through the car park. A few hours ago she had persuaded herself that Mark and Susan were just simply good friends, now she could confirm that wasn't true. She had seen the pair with her own eyes, kissing on the bench. The man she loved with all her heart had kissed another woman. The man she wanted to marry, the man who's baby she was carrying at the moment. Her heart had been broken into a million tiny pieces. All she wanted to do was run away and pretend the situation never happened. Wake up in Mark's arms the next morning and find out it was nothing but a terrible nightmare. Glancing behind her she saw him chasing after her.  
  
"Elizabeth watch out!" Mark screamed in horror.  
  
It was too late though. Elizabeth had not seen the oncoming ambulance.  
  
Author's Notes: Okay I know I'm cruel for leaving it at such a cliffhanger. So will Elizabeth survive this horrific incident or will she not pull through? What will happen after that kiss between Mark and Susan? What exactly happened a year ago that cost Chloe and Susie their lives? Find out in the final installment of Don't Want You Back. As always feedback is greatly accepted. 


	5. Don't Want You Back Chapter 5

Don't Want You Back  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
  
Author: Lockhart  
  
E-mail: Katie@ballantyne24.freeserve.co.uk  
  
Category: Susan Lewis/ Mark Greene/ Elizabeth Corday  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Spoilers: Contains mild spoilers for Season 7  
  
Archive: Archive my fic on your site if you wish but please let me know first  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters but I sure wish I did (especially Carter cause he is sooooooo cute! )  
  
Authors Notes: See end of fic  
  
Summary: Continuation of Don't Want You Back Chapter 4  
  
"Elizabeth!" Mark screamed in horror as he rushed to the side of his injured fiancee. "Elizabeth no, this can't be happening". Susan stood frozen to the ground. She quietly watched Mark stroke Elizabeth's curly hair as the surgeon lay on the cold, hard pavement.  
  
"Mark I......." she began to speak.  
  
"Don't just stand there!" Mark yelled in anger. "Go fetch some help"  
  
"Right" Susan replied as she took one last look at the unconscious woman.  
  
"Now Susan!" Mark screamed. "It's okay sweetheart" he said in a soothing tone, returning his attention back to his fiancee. "You're going to be okay, everything is going to be fine" But will everything be okay, he thought. I have to be strong. Have hope. For....for Elizabeth's sake. Because if she dies tonight, it is my fault. As Mark glanced to his left, he caught a quick glimpse of Susan's shadow disappear into the distant night.  
  
*******  
  
"Coming through, move out of the way!" Chuny shouted as she helped to pull the gurney carrying Elizabeth through the ER.  
  
"Is that Dr Corday?" Randi asked as they passed the Admin desk.  
  
"She was knocked over by an ambulance outside" the nurse answered.  
  
"Take her into Trauma Three" Mark ordered as he ran beside the moving gurney.  
  
"Hey I hope she's okay" Randi shouted some encouraging words to him.  
  
Mark and the nurses entered the room, only to find Romano working on another patient. "Dr Greene, how nice of you to drop in like this" he grinned sarcastically.  
  
"Robert we need this room........" Mark started to speak but was interrupted.  
  
"Oh you need the room" Robert laughed. "Incase I am mistaken, I do believe I was here first. It's also good manners to use the magic little word please when making such a request. Honestly Dr Greene, did your mother never teach you......."  
  
"It's Elizabeth!" Mark snapped back. His girlfriend's life was hanging in the balance whilst Robert was standing there making his usual offensive comments.  
  
"Lizzie..........." Robert paused as he glanced at the woman lying on the gurney. "Move this patient to Curtain Three, Have Peter work on him" he instructed Conni and Haleh. "Bring Lizzie in here now, c'mon quickly, stat!"  
  
"Okay gently on my count" Mark said as they prepared to transfer his fiancee onto another gurney. "1, 2, 3! Let's get a CBC, Type and Cross Match for four, PT test, Chem 7, blood gas, coag panel and a peritoneal lavage"  
  
"BP's 70/50, pulse is 60" Abby informed them.  
  
"Okay give her a milligram of atrophine, 10 of dopamine, start a large bore IV of normal saline and hook her up to an EKG" Robert ordered. He stared at the surgeon lying on the gurney. Blood trickled down her pale forehead onto her clean, white gown. He didn't care about many people in the hospital but Elizabeth was one of the few he actually did give a damn about. Although she had once turned down his advances and was now due to marry another man, she held a very special place in his barren heart. It was hurting for him to watch her lying there.  
  
"How is Elizabeth doing?" Luka asked as he entered the trauma room with Dave.  
  
"It's quite serious" Abby answered quietly.  
  
"Oh gawd, it really is Elizabeth" Dave said, rather shocked at the sight of the patient.  
  
"That's Lizzie?" Romano asked in his usual sarcastic tone. "No, I thought it was the tooth fairy!"  
  
"Abby get a foetal monitor in here and set up the ultrasound please" Mark requested, interrupting the chief of staff's conversation with Malucci.  
  
"Start a round of 10cc's bolus every five minutes and order a chest and abdomen series" Luka ordered.  
  
"Lets also get a head CT" Robert added.  
  
"She's pregnant though" Mark protested. "The baby shouldn't be exposed to radiation"  
  
"Yes, but a low dose of radiation is much safer for the kiddie than the misdiagnosis of a serious surgical case" Robert replied, knowing that he was right and Mark was wrong.  
  
"BP's falling, 60/50, heart rate down to 50!" Chuny shouted to the doctors.  
  
"Push another milligran of atrophine" Dave replied.  
  
"No breath sounds on the right, hyperresonant on the left. She's got a tension pneumo" Luka told them, throwing his stethoscope back around his shoulders. "We need to perform a needle decompression"  
  
"Lavage is positive" Yosh said worringly.  
  
"Where's the damn ultrasound!" Robert shouted in anger.  
  
"It's here" Abby answered timidly, wheeling the machine over to the surgeon.  
  
"Thank you Miss Lockhart! What does it take to get some service around here? Apparently not being involved in a MVA"  
  
"She was busy checking Elizabeth's vitals!" Luka argued. He was not going to allow Robert to shout at his girlfriend.  
  
"Oh really Dr Kovac? Well I apologise then. We will all just stand back and let our patient slowly bleed to death whilst Nurse Lockhart checks her vitals!"  
  
"Just be quiet all of you!" Mark snapped, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. "The woman I love is dying on this bed, and none of you seem to give a damn!"  
  
"Dr Greene, we've lost the pulse!" Chuny shouted.  
  
"Start compressions, I'll intubate" he replied.  
  
"Pulse Ox down to 82" Abby added as she removed the clip to measure it from Elizabeth's middle finger.  
  
"I'm in, bag her" Mark announced as he completed the intubation. His hands were shaking and the back of his throat felt as dry as a desert. Every word he spoke he almost choked on his tears. A thousand emotions were flooding right through him - anger, sadness, guilt, desperation, unhappiness........ Whatever happened tonight, these few hours would stay in Mark Greene's memory forever.  
  
"Okay lets take a look at the abdomen" Robert said solemnly as he gently applied some gel onto the area.  
  
"There's an abruption to the right side of the placenta" Dave pointed out on the screen.  
  
"Oh god" Mark cried. He not only faced losing his beloved fiancee but also their unborn child.  
  
"There's definately some uterine tenderness" Abby noted as she pressed her hands around Elizabeth's abdomen. As an OB and ER nurse she had seen both sorrow and joy every day. She could only pray that Elizabeth and her daughter would survive. "We should give her a milligram of tetanus toxoid incase of a hemorrhage" she suggested.  
  
"Foetal heart rate falling!" Yosh told them as he watched the monitor.  
  
"The baby needs volume" Luks replied. "Give it oxygen and pump in two units of whole blood"  
  
"Oh great" Robert sighed.  
  
"What is it?" Mark asked in a worried tone.  
  
"There is a blood clot to the right of the abdomen"  
  
"Dr Greene" Chuny called out the physician's name. "She's bleeding out!" Mark watched in horror as the nurse lifted up the foley bag only to see Elizabeth's blood quickly dripping into it.  
  
"Give her five of heparin and put four units of AB on the rapid infuser" Robert started to speak as he took control of the horrible situation. "Yosh, call surgery and book an OR. I also want you to page Dr Coburn form Obstetrics down here" As he gave his orders, the machines around Elizabeth started to bleep wildly.  
  
"She's in V-Fib!" Chuny yelled at the top of her voice.  
  
"Paddles" Dave ordered. "Charge to 60, clear!"  
  
"Still in V-Fib" Abby replied.  
  
"I can't watch this" Mark said as steadied his shaking body. "I'm so sorry Elizabeth" he cried before dashing out of the room.  
  
"Charge to 100" Dave continued. "Clear!"  
  
*******  
  
Through the large glass windows, Mark watched the doctors struggle to save Elizabeth's life. It was hard to believe that the woman lying motionless on the gurney was the same woman he had woke up beside that very morning. It was also hard to believe that in the next hour he faced losing the one woman that he loved with all his great heart and soul. She looks so pale and lifeless, he thought, as he wiped away the tears that were falling from the corners of his eyes. It doesn't look like Elizabeth at all. Perhaps I just don't want to believe it is her. I've spent my whole life searching. Searching for my one true soulmate. The woman I am destined to spend eternity with. The woman who would fill my life with love, hope, security and happiness. Now I've found you Elizabeth, am I just supposed to let you go? Remember when we headed to a medical conference hosted in the Midland Hotel? We got lost trying to find the conference room and ended up dancing the tango in the ballroom. We had so much fun that night, I never wanted the day to end. Do you remember our first kiss? It was by the lakeside, after we missed our trip on a cruise boat. Bright, tiny stars lit up the dark sky above us, the harbourside lights twinkled and glitterd around us. I will never forget the first time I held you in my warm embrace. Every dayI spent with you made me feel like the luckiest man alive in this world. I could hardly believe it when you agreed to marry me. You stood by me throughtout my illness. Even when I gave up hope you kept on believing that we could pull through. As I lay on that hospital bed, practically at death's door I knew I had a reason to live for. That reason was you Elizabeth. You and our unborn child. You can't understand what pain I'm feeling right now. It is my fault you are lying there in the trauma room. Finally I've realised that you are the only person I truly care about. I love you Elizabeth Corday, please don't leave me.  
  
"Mark" a female voice broke him out of his deep thoughts.  
  
"What do you want Susan?" he asked coldly. If Susan had never came back maybe this mess could have been prevented.  
  
"I came to see how Elizabeth is" she answered staring at the marble floor below. She couldn't look Mark in the eye. This accident was mostly her fault and she felt horribly guilty. "I also came to apologise"  
  
"What's the point in saying sorry now?" Mark replied ."Damage is done. Luka said there's a strong chance she might not pull through."  
  
"Elizabeth's a fighter, she will survive"  
  
"How can you be so sure Susan?" Mark questioned her, whilst throwing her a cold stare. "Even if she does survive, wil my unborn child? What if I lose both of them tonight? Susan I wish......I wish you had never came back"  
  
Susan walked away sadly after Mark's last words. "I wish I had never came back too" she whispered as she headed towards the elevators. Everywhere she went, she brought unhappiness and pain to the people she cared most about. Chloe, Susie.................and now Mark. What Susan needed to do was let go of the past.  
  
********  
  
Susan walked slowly along the long, empty corridor. The only noise that could be heard was the sound of her tiny, black heels clicking along the marble floor. Usually this corridor would be full of hardworking doctors dashing around the hospital but tonight was an exceptionally quiet night. Except for one horrible accident that constantly preyed at the back of her mind. Susan stopped in front of a large, wooden door which sat beside a small, glass window. 'Neonatal Intensive Care Unit'. She stared sadly at the sight of a tiny baby lying in an incubator with tubes and wires hooked up to nearly part of it's body. Poor child, she shook her head in sympathy. A young, innocent infant did not deserve to be punished with such a horrible illness. No child did.  
  
*** "Dr Lewis, a man in Curtain Three is complaing of back ache" Holly informed, handng Susan over a chart.  
  
"Okay, could you discharge Mrs Anderson for me and check the vitals on Mr Harris in Curtain two" Susan said walking away from the reception area. Five hours still to go, Susan sighed as she glanced at her watch. She couldn't wait till the end of her shift. Tonight was little Susie's third brithday and Susan had organised a small party for the toddler and some of her friends from play school. Her neice was her life and she would simply do anything to please the little girl. "Hello Mr Walden" Susan greeted her patient as she entered the small room. "I hear you are experiencing some back ache"  
  
"I've been waiting one hour!" the man cried in anger. "One hour!"  
  
"Dr Lewis!" Holly shouted as she opened the door. "Dr Lewis your sister has arrived, I think your neice is ill"  
  
"What?" Susan exclaimed as she threw the chart she had been holding onto the floor and dashed down the corridor to the trauma rooms.  
  
"Hey I've been waiting one hour!" she heard the man shout one last time. As much as she sympathised with the ill man, her neice was her main priority. "What happened?" she asked, rushing to the toddler's side.  
  
"She had a slight fever this morning" Chloe cried in a panic stricken state. "When I checked on her later on, she had a rash on her face"  
  
"Temperature is 99.2" Holly informed them.  
  
"Could be meningitis" Susan said, looking worringly at Dr Jeff Spiller.  
  
"It's probably German Measles" he replied. "Mild fever, swollen glands, a rash of tiny pink spots on the face and limbs, all the classic symptoms of Rubella"  
  
"There's also some tiny lumps behind the ears" Holly added as she checked all of Susie's vitals.  
  
"We should do a spinal tap to rule it out anyway" Susan ordered. "Lets also get some blood work done, an urine analysis, Chem 7 and a white blood cell count"  
  
"Is she going to be okay?" Chloe asked.  
  
"I don't think it's anything particulary serious" Jeff answered. "Holly hook Susie up to an IV of normal saline and give her paracetamol to treat the fever"  
  
"It's okay sweetheart" Susan smiled, stroking her neice's curly, blode hair. "Everything is going to be okay. I promise. ***  
  
Everything wasn't going to be okay though. Susan had broke that promise to her neice. Tragedy always lay just around the corner for Susan Lewis and her family, but no one could have predicted the cruel events that lay just a few weeks away.  
  
*******  
  
"Charge to 150, clear!" Dave shouted.  
  
"She's back in sinus rhythm" Abby told him. "Strong pulse too"  
  
"Shame we couldn't save the child as well" Luks spoke bitterly, pulling off his blood stained gloves.  
  
"Dr Corday was still in her first trimester. The baby didn't stand a chance of survival" Janet Coburn said sadly.  
  
"Lets take her up the OR now" Robert sighed, helping to wheel the gurney out of the room.  
  
"I'll inform Mark" Abby replied as she ran her hand through her short hair.  
  
"Elizabeth" Mark cried with delight as he rushed to her side. "Oh Elizabeth"  
  
"Mark.........." Abby called his name quietly.  
  
"Elizabeth you don't know how relieved I am to know you're alive"  
  
"Mark there's something I have to tell you" Abby said, trying her best to hold back her tears. "The baby..........the baby"  
  
"Please don't tell me we lost our little girl" Mark pleaded with the nurse. "Please Abby" Abby stared at him sadly. She placed her hand on his shoulder as a comforting gesture. There was nothing she could do to relieve him of the pain of the situation.  
  
"I'm so sorry Dr Greene" she continued. "Elizabeth suffered a miscarriage"  
  
"No" Mark shook his head in disbelief. "No, this can't be happening. Our daughter, no,no!!"  
  
"Greene!" Robert interrupted. "I want to know what exactly happened to Elizabeth" he demanded. "The paramedics told me she ran out in front of the ambulance in a very distressed state. So what the hell happened?"  
  
"Dr Romano, try to show some compassion" Abby whispered. "He has just lost his baby"  
  
"Yes and I want to know how this accident happened"  
  
"She was knocked over by a moving vehicle" Mark looked at the surgeon straight in the eye, rather annoyed by his question. It wasn't exactly his business anyway.  
  
"Really?" Robert asked sarcastically. "Wow for aminute there I thought she had a touch of the stomach flu"  
  
"Okay Robert, you want the truth? The truth is Elizabeth saw Susan and I kiss. She was in a state of shock and didn't see the oncoming ambulance"  
  
"Oh so the reason for this accident was because you were caught carrying on with another woman!" Robert spat, waving his arms frantically in the air.  
  
"It didn't mean a thing" Mark protested in his innocence. "Susan was upset......."  
  
"And being a true gentleman you decided the best way to comfort Dr Lewis was to play tonsil tennis with her"  
  
"I don't care about Susan, I love Elizabeth"  
  
"Well you have a great way of showing it Mark. I just hope Elizabeth pulls through, for your sake if nothing else!" After his threatening words, Robert stormed off, following Chuny, Yosh and Elizabeth towards the elevators. Meanwhile Mark walked away in the opposite direction of his adversory.  
  
"How does he do it?" Dave shook his head as he exited the trauma room. "He's got two woman fighting after him and I don't even have one single girlfriend"  
  
"Shut up Dave" Abby mumbled under her breath before following Mark.  
  
Must be her time of the month, Dave thought to himself whilst walking down the corridor to reception. I mean who could resist the charms of Dr David Malucci?  
  
*******  
  
Susan sat outside on the large, concrete steps beside the hospital entrance. She lifted the cigarette she was holding to her mouth and inhaled the sweet nicotine. Running her free hand through the thick strands of her hair, she stared at the tiny handful of stars in the sky. Her mother once told her that every star represented a human who had passed away. So were Chloe and Susie up there too? Susan felt the bitter wind blow gently against her face as she close her sparkling blue eyes.  
  
** Susan stroked her sister's raven black hair. Her face was pale white, almost the colour of a ghost. The gown she was wearing was drenched in bright red blood. The doctors had given her intravenous drugs and blood tranfusions but her injuries were too severe. When she arrested, they cracked her chest open and shocked her heart for an hour. It was no use though, there was nothing else they could do to save her. Chloe Lewis died at tweny five minutes past two in the afternoon. Susan had given that same speech to thousands of patients families. Never did she imagine another doctor would tell her the same words. Little Susie had died at the scene of the accident. It was quite tragic really. The toddler had spent weeks fighting an illness, only to be killed on release from the hospital. What really hurt was that this time Chloe had been determined to change her life around. When Susie was admitted to the ER for German Measles, Chloe seeked professional help for her drug and alcohol addictions. She also managed to receive a job working in a small cafe near Susan's bungalow. Chloe seemed like a changed woman. Susie was released from the Pediatric ward two weeks later. As Chloe drove her daughter home, a careless driver had drove through a red light and ploughed straight into their tiny car. The most tragic thing was that the driver who ran the red light was Chloe's ex-boyfriend Joe. The man who had broken off their relationship which prompted her to turn up at Susan's doorstep. What had followed from that day on was a tragic chain of events which resulted in the death's of Susan's sister and neice.**  
  
I wish I could see them again, Susan sighed as she threw her cigarette into the deep pile of snow that lay before her feet. All I want to do is speak to them one last time, say goodbye properly. Hold Susie in my arms and give her a big, warm hug. I can't turn back the time, so why can't I move on in life?  
  
*******  
  
Mark sipped his warm cup of coffee before placing it on the table beside Elizabeth's bed. He had been sitting here for about an hour and a half. The surgery had beena great success and Elizabeth was expected to make a full recovery.  
  
"Hello sweetie" he smiled as he watched the English woman's eyes finally flutter open.  
  
"Mark" she whispered in reply.  
  
"You were involved in an accident" he told her. "Do you remember? You were knocked over by an ambulance. We rushed you to the ER and treated you for severe abdominal trauma. Your heart stopped beating, so did mine for a moment. I thought I was going to lose you, I couldn't even watch the doctors help you. We brought you upstairs to the OR where Robert and Peter performed surgery on you"  
  
"That's what you usually do the OR" Elizabeth laughed in a low voice. "I should know" Mark laughed with her as he ran his fingers through her long, curly hair.  
  
"You don't know how frightened I was. All I could think about was all the great times we shared together. All the events we had planned for the future, our wedding, the honeymoon........  
  
"The baby" Elizabeth interrupted. Mark suddenly became very quiet when she mentioned their child.  
  
"Elizabeth, I don't know how to tell you this"  
  
"I lost didn't I? I lost out daughter"  
  
"I'm afraid so" he nodded his head.  
  
"Why? Why did this have to happen to me? I wanted our baby so much, I could have been a great mother"  
  
"I know, you would have made a super mom"  
  
"So why was my child taken away from me? What did I ever do to deserve this? Why Mark, why? I just want my baby, I just want my baby" The woman burst into a flood of tears at the tragedy that had befell her. For weeks she been planning the birth of her child. Looking at cots and cribs, buying toys and teddies. Now her daughter had been cruelly taken away from her, her heart ached for her the baby. "I'm so sorry Mark, I'm sorry"  
  
"No Elizabeth, you have nothing to be sorry about, it's my fault you are lying there"  
  
"Mark............"  
  
"No let me finish" he replied, the tears rolling down his cheeks onto the pair of green surgical scrubs he was wearing. "I shouldn't have kissed Susan. If I hadn't this accident could have been prevented. We might have not lost our baby then. I never meant to hurt you, I love you. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me at this moment, but if you can ever forgive me, I will promise to spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy again"  
  
"I can't hate you Mark" she replied after a long pause of silence. "Like you always say, we're soulmates. We are destined to be together"  
  
"I think that's the drugs talking" Mark laughed as he placed his hand on top of Elizabeth's, clasping it tight with his long fingers.  
  
"I am hurting inside, but we can pull through this" she said, thoroughly determined to save her relationship. "I don't want to lose you Mark, I don't think I could live without you. We just need to have hope" As the early sunlight streamed through the recovery room windows, the two doctors held each other tight. Each one feeling safe in the other's embrace. The vents of the previous night had made them both see how much they needed one another. Mark Greene and Elizabeth Corday could only emerge from their troubles as a much stronger couple.  
  
*******  
  
"What a night!" John exclaimed as he entered the locker room.  
  
"Busy shift?" Susan inquired as she packed her white lab coat and stethoscope into her small rucksack.  
  
"The usual" he laughed. "Twenty one patients and a huge pile of paperwork. All I want to do is go home, have a nice, relaxing bath and then go to bed"  
  
"Yeh, tonight has been rough on all of us" she nodded.  
  
"Do you have any plans for tonight?"  
  
"Uh.......I guess I should probably tell you this" Susan sighed deeply.  
  
"Tell me what? As long as you are not admitting to being Dr Romano's secret wife, you can tell me absolutely anything"  
  
"No it's definately not that" she laughed. "I'm moving to Denver"  
  
"You're leaving County?" John asked in a state of shock. He had finally adjusted to having his good friend back around the hospital. Now she was leaving again? "Why? You've only been here a couple of months" he questioned her actions.  
  
"The truth is I should never have came back here in the first place" she answered. "After Chloe and Susie's deaths, I tried to search for a way to re-live the past. It was childish for me to come back here and expect to win Mark's heart. He has a new life now, he moved on. Just look at the trouble I caused tonight." The two doctors made their way past reception and left the hospital through the grand double doors. "Mark is a part of my past, as is Chloe and Susie " she continued. "You can't change the past, dwelling on it only brings you misery and sadness. I learned that today John. I have to look forward to the future"  
  
"Well I guess this is goodbye then" John replied, feeling a large lump form at the back of his throat.  
  
"Goodbye Carter" she hugged him tightly. "Thank you, you have always been there for me when I needed you the most"  
  
"Well you've been a pretty good friend too" he smiled. "I just hope the future brings you all the happiness you so richly deserve"  
  
"See you later" Susan kissed him lightly on the forehead before walking away.  
  
"Hey Dr Lewis!" John called. Susan turned around to see a snowball graze her shoulder. "Goodbye!" he laughed before heading off in the direction of the hospital's car park. Susan took one last look at Cook County General. It had brought her a lot of memories. Some of joy, some of sorrow. As an ambulance drew up with it's lights flashing brightly, she turned back around and walked away into the snow covered distance. Finally, Dr Susan Lewis could let go of her past.  
  
Authors Notes: Well sadly 'Don't Want You Back' has come to an end. I hope you enjoyed the final installment and the series has a whole. I apologise to all Susan Lewis fans who wished her to win this batttle over Mark. I like Susan too but I believe Mark and Elizabeth belong together as a couple. This fanfic was about Susan learning to let go of her past and Mark was a part of this past. Now that she has finally learned to move on, she can hopefully lead a much happier life in Denver. As always feedback is greatly accepted. I'd love to know what your thought are on this fanfic. Did you enjoy reading it or did you dislike it? How can I improve my writing and what different storylines about any character would you like to see me tackle? Thanks for reading 'Don't Want You Back' and look out for my next fanfic! 


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